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      "text": "the backstory of that one random dead npc you find in every resident evil game",
      "html": "<p>the backstory of that one random dead npc you find in every resident evil game</p>",
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      "text": "This happened to my close and personal friend Leon S. Kennedy once",
      "html": "<p>This happened to my close and personal friend Leon S. Kennedy once</p>",
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      "text": "a cautionary tale about the dangers of having a job",
      "html": "<p>a cautionary tale about the dangers of having a job</p>",
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      "text": "Unsurprisingly Cregger knew what he was doing. A rip-roaring nightmare that perfectly emulates the look and feel of the games while adding its own uniquely fucked up concepts to the series. Love how much the commitment to making this guy a complete novice even extends to the quips. Leon would've had the corniest most awesome response to taking out some zombies while this guy awkwardly mumbles \"Stupid...fucking...monsters\" and it's incredible. I felt more serviced as a fan by a single shot of a typewriter than anything in the Mario Galaxy movie, and that's what happens when your story and filmmaking style is actually investing and GOOD!",
      "html": "<p>Unsurprisingly Cregger knew what he was doing. A rip-roaring nightmare that perfectly emulates the look and feel of the games while adding its own uniquely fucked up concepts to the series. Love how much the commitment to making this guy a complete novice even extends to the quips. Leon would've had the corniest most awesome response to taking out some zombies while this guy awkwardly mumbles \"Stupid...fucking...monsters\" and it's incredible. I felt more serviced as a fan by a single shot of a typewriter than anything in the Mario Galaxy movie, and that's what happens when your story and filmmaking style is actually investing and GOOD!</p>",
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      "text": "this movie absolutely rocks and combines two of my favorite horror subgenres: - guy has the worst possible night ever - protagonist who kinda majorly sucks\n\nto make my new favorite subgenre: loser protagonist has the worst night of his life",
      "html": "<p>this movie absolutely rocks and combines two of my favorite horror subgenres:\n- guy has the worst possible night ever\n- protagonist who kinda majorly sucks</p><p>to make my new favorite subgenre: loser protagonist has the worst night of his life</p>",
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      "text": "For a movie about sisterhood, they really said fuck Maisie Williams.",
      "html": "<p>For a movie about sisterhood, they really said fuck Maisie Williams.</p>",
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      "text": "does he not know he could save his progress using the typewriter? :(",
      "html": "<p>does he not know he could save his progress using the typewriter? :(</p>",
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      "text": "Please look after this fish. Thank you.",
      "html": "<p>Please look after this fish. Thank you.</p>",
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      "text": "Silly one-liners, exaggerated slimy monstrosities, and a strong emphasis on unskilled vulnerability. Something that switches from terrified POV images as our guy cautiously enters a room or turns a corner to deafeningly loud intrusions of complete freaks in a blink. Like the games, there are a ton of ridiculous obstacles in this - I have also tried to shoot off my fair share of locks as Ethan Winters. Austin Abrams nails it as the perfect everyman, he is remarkably funny. Plays out with many of the strongest elements from the games: the anxiousness of re2, the survival roots of re7, and one-liners similar to those Leon would say in re4. I can't even begin to express how hilarious I thought it was, even when the ideas are subtly undermined by its own absurdity. One of the funniest things I’ve seen in years.",
      "html": "<p>Silly one-liners, exaggerated slimy monstrosities, and a strong emphasis on unskilled vulnerability. Something that switches from terrified POV images as our guy cautiously enters a room or turns a corner to deafeningly loud intrusions of complete freaks in a blink. Like the games, there are a ton of ridiculous obstacles in this - I have also tried to shoot off my fair share of locks as Ethan Winters. Austin Abrams nails it as the perfect everyman, he is remarkably funny. Plays out with many of the strongest elements from the games: the anxiousness of re2, the survival roots of re7, and one-liners similar to those Leon would say in re4. I can't even begin to express how hilarious I thought it was, even when the ideas are subtly undermined by its own absurdity. One of the funniest things I’ve seen in years.</p>",
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      "text": "Kind of jaw dropping how well Cregger uses the actual filmmaking here to not mimic but genuinely adapt the feeling of playing Resident Evil into the experience of a watching a movie. Very satisfying. But I fear he cannot stop doing bits, all the way up to the bitter end Mr. Cregger is doing bits and I respect the commitment but I’ve had this problem with his work before where using the monster as a punchline undermines the horror and thematics. Frustrating at times but ultimately doesn’t matter too much here because it’s so much fun! Austin Abrams I am very charmed by you!",
      "html": "<p>Kind of jaw dropping how well Cregger uses the actual filmmaking here to not mimic but genuinely adapt the feeling of playing Resident Evil into the experience of a watching a movie. Very satisfying. But I fear he cannot stop doing bits, all the way up to the bitter end Mr. Cregger is doing bits and I respect the commitment but I’ve had this problem with his work before where using the monster as a punchline undermines the horror and thematics. Frustrating at times but ultimately doesn’t matter too much here because it’s so much fun! Austin Abrams I am very charmed by you!</p>",
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      "text": "Watch it and have a blast before film twitter tells you that Zach Creeger made an 'unfaithful adaptation'",
      "html": "<p>Watch it and have a blast before film twitter tells you that Zach Creeger made an 'unfaithful adaptation'</p>",
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      "text": "- main character doesn't know tf is going on - actual inventory management - recurring stalker boss - useless sewer level - a weaker 3rd act\n\nWelcome back Resident Evil.",
      "html": "<p>- main character doesn't know tf is going on\n- actual inventory management\n- recurring stalker boss\n- useless sewer level\n- a weaker 3rd act</p><p>Welcome back Resident Evil.</p>",
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      "text": "Oh great, another fat orange monster that touches kids and sexually harasses women that I need to be afraid of.",
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      "text": "Cregger with the jump scare-LOL-unforgettable imagery-90 minute rollercoaster ride.\n\nI could watch Austin Abrams read the phone book.",
      "html": "<p>Cregger with the jump scare-LOL-unforgettable imagery-90 minute rollercoaster ride.</p><p>I could watch Austin Abrams read the phone book.</p>",
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      "text": "It’s hard to tell — and even harder to care — whether a small but attention-starved contingent of “Resident Evil” loyalists actually made a preemptive stink about Zach Cregger’s radical new take on the video game franchise, or if algorithmic rage cycles have become so predictable and endemic to the discourse that everyone just assumed that they had. Whatever the case, this much is clear: Cregger’s singular, madcap, arcade-style riff on the survival-horror series that started it all is a massive and rapidly mutating middle finger to the Comic-Con-brained idea that video game adaptations should just give “the fans” what they think they want.\n\nCregger’s movie arrives in the wake of 2021’s “Welcome to Raccoon City,” a miserable cosplay which attempted to course-correct the nü-metal nuttiness of Paul W.S. Anderson’s movies by slavishly retelling the story of the first two “Resident Evil” titles. The “Weapons” director’s DLC-like approach to the zombie saga pivots back in the opposite direction with a giddy smile on its face. You’ll find no characters from those PlayStation classics (ditto their more recent sequels), nor any narrative connection to the series’ mythology beyond a shared location and a brief reference to the evil Umbrella Corporation. Easter eggs come by the dozen, but the movie’s fast, freaky undead more resemble — and behave like — the “Last of Us” infected than the slow-moving groaners from the early games.\n\nAnd yet, for all its creative liberties, this is the first “Resident Evil” movie that actually — and rather viscerally — evokes what it feels like to play “Resident Evil.”\n\nThe white-knuckled helplessness of entering a new room and flinching at the way it’s framed to emphasize all the places a monster could jump out. The addictively queasy tug-of-war between wanting to explore the next section and wanting to just say “nope” and turn the whole thing off. The headache of item management, the thrill of blowing a villager’s head off with your last shotgun round, only to see tentacles sprout out of its neck hole as it grows more powerful. Cregger’s side-quest-sized story about a hapless courier has been genetically engineered in an Umbrella Corp. lab as the perfect vehicle for all these sense memories, to the point that his “Resident Evil” better reflects the essence of its source material than any of the previous movies. That’s despite how it eschews the franchise’s melodramatic tone in favor of postmodern glee, and ditches its deep(ly ridiculous) mythology in favor of… well, pretty much nothing aside from some errant anxieties about bringing a kid into a world that’s evolving out of our control. That’s what you get when you hire the guy who made “Weapons,” I suppose.\n\nA lean, gripping, and relentless goof absent any trace of the cart-before-the-horse ambitions that have crushed the life out of blockbuster cinema in the age of I.P., Cregger’s “Resident Evil” is so cut to the bone that it starts mid-sentence and drops its closing title card at what feels like might be the start of its third act. In other words, some poor schmuck is about to have the worst night of his life, and he’s only gonna need about 85 minutes to do it.\n\n~this review continues on IndieWire~",
      "html": "<p>It’s hard to tell — and even harder to care — whether a small but attention-starved contingent of “Resident Evil” loyalists actually made a preemptive stink about Zach Cregger’s radical new take on the video game franchise, or if algorithmic rage cycles have become so predictable and endemic to the discourse that everyone just assumed that they had. Whatever the case, this much is clear: Cregger’s singular, madcap, arcade-style riff on the survival-horror series that started it all is a massive and rapidly mutating middle finger to the Comic-Con-brained idea that video game adaptations should just give “the fans” what they think they want.</p><p>Cregger’s movie arrives in the wake of 2021’s “Welcome to Raccoon City,” a miserable cosplay which attempted to course-correct the nü-metal nuttiness of Paul W.S. Anderson’s movies by slavishly retelling the story of the first two “Resident Evil” titles. The “Weapons” director’s DLC-like approach to the zombie saga pivots back in the opposite direction with a giddy smile on its face. You’ll find no characters from those PlayStation classics (ditto their more recent sequels), nor any narrative connection to the series’ mythology beyond a shared location and a brief reference to the evil Umbrella Corporation. Easter eggs come by the dozen, but the movie’s fast, freaky undead more resemble — and behave like — the “Last of Us” infected than the slow-moving groaners from the early games.</p><p>And yet, for all its creative liberties, this is the first “Resident Evil” movie that actually — and rather viscerally — evokes what it feels like to play “Resident Evil.”</p><p>The white-knuckled helplessness of entering a new room and flinching at the way it’s framed to emphasize all the places a monster could jump out. The addictively queasy tug-of-war between wanting to explore the next section and wanting to just say “nope” and turn the whole thing off. The headache of item management, the thrill of blowing a villager’s head off with your last shotgun round, only to see tentacles sprout out of its neck hole as it grows more powerful. Cregger’s side-quest-sized story about a hapless courier has been genetically engineered in an Umbrella Corp. lab as the perfect vehicle for all these sense memories, to the point that his “Resident Evil” better reflects the essence of its source material than any of the previous movies. That’s despite how it eschews the franchise’s melodramatic tone in favor of postmodern glee, and ditches its deep(ly ridiculous) mythology in favor of… well, pretty much nothing aside from some errant anxieties about bringing a kid into a world that’s evolving out of our control. That’s what you get when you hire the guy who made “Weapons,” I suppose.</p><p>A lean, gripping, and relentless goof absent any trace of the cart-before-the-horse ambitions that have crushed the life out of blockbuster cinema in the age of I.P., Cregger’s “Resident Evil” is so cut to the bone that it starts mid-sentence and drops its closing title card at what feels like might be the start of its third act. In other words, some poor schmuck is about to have the worst night of his life, and he’s only gonna need about 85 minutes to do it.</p><p><a href=\"https://www.indiewire.com/criticism/movies/resident-evil-movie-review-2026-zach-cregger-1235217403/\" rel=\"nofollow\">~this review continues on IndieWire~</a><a rel=\"nofollow\"></a></p>",
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      "text": "Movie ended like I ran out of quarters",
      "html": "<p>Movie ended like I ran out of quarters</p>",
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      "text": "Guy who plays Uncle Stav is really sexy",
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      "text": "Raccoon City is so lovely in the snow",
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